Loving the Good in Who You Are

An important part of my Hypnotic Experience show is when I talk about the use of hypnosis to energize and charge up confidence.  The power statement I employ that typically resonates with the audience:

“When you realize the person you are is the person you are suppose to be, and that the people who really matter in life – your friends and family – love you and appreciate you for who you are, then there isn’t anything you cannot accomplish.  You get to decide what makes you happy and successful.”

Something to keep in mind during such trying times.

Words of Wisdom for Teen-preneurs

A dozen teenagers gathered on a Saturday morning in Bethesda, MD to study entrepreneurship. Now, that was a sight to see.

Due to my 20+ year run as the founder and owner of a professional services firm, I was invited to speak at a session hosted by the Bethesda Entrepreneurship Academy. I realized after a quick review of the exceptional speakers recruited by Zain Yaqub (the Academy’s founder and a teen entrepreneur himself) that I needed a unique and unexpected topic.

My presentation, entitled “The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Wealth & Empowerment,” delivered just that. In what I believe was a refreshingly candid and entertaining style (hey, I perform stand-up comedy as a hobby), I sought to disabuse these future business titans of the notion that success is measured by your take home pay.

Rather, the value of business creation is in the ability to craft more meaningful and intimate relationships with family, friends, community, etc., while building a lifestyle which is consistent with a belief system.
Here are the five steps to business creation I offered during the presentation:

1. Identify the things important to you in life.
2. Make an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses.
3. Define the personality type(s) you most successfully work with.
4. Construct a business plan that aligns accordingly.
5. Drip with self-confidence.

Did my message resonate?

Admittedly, it was hard to tell. The youthful audience was reasonably well engaged during my talk, yet the Q&A afterwards lacked any significant meaning or depth.

Perhaps it was merely a reflection of the date/time of the event? Or maybe I came off too much of a tyrannical type A?

Or, worse, this group may not be ready for entrepreneurship…yet?

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Interested in reading more about how visualization can improve the entrepreneurial experience?  Check out these blog posts:

Anxious Decision-Making is a No-No

Pathways to Success, Achieving Confidence through Hypnosis

Busy Execs Get Hip to the Power of Visualization

Cosmo Goes All-In with Hypnosis

Here is a wonderful article in Cosmopolitan about a woman's experience with hypnosis.  Her initial goal was to use visualization as a tool to have more energy in the morning, yet the ultimate outcome turned out to be much more meaningful.

Good for Cosmo for showcasing how hypnosis can serve as a tool to inspire health, wellness and exceptional living.


I Got Hypnotized to Boost My Confidence and Feel Like a Bombshell
Cosmopolitan (10.26.15)

I honestly say I felt super-relaxed yet doubtful that anything would actually change.  It wasn't until I woke up the next day that I noticed a difference. I felt amazing. The first thing in my closet fit perfectly. My liquid eyeliner winged out flawlessly on the first try. My husband, my boss, the Starbucks guy — pretty much everyone I saw complimented me on something.

Accountability and the Slaying of a 16-Year-Old

An article in the Washington Post on Wednesday carried a jarring headline, “Mother says bullying led to slain 16-year-old son’s depression, drug use.”

The story of Woodbridge Senior High School’s Brenden Wilson is indeed sad.  Once a promising student, athlete and ROTC cadet, his life ended this past Monday when he was shot down on a wooded path near his school in what police speculate was a failed drug deal.

According to his mother and other family members, Brenden fell into a dangerous spiral when he struggled to maintain his weight.  This led to insults from his peers at school which forced him to find escape in truancy, drug use and criminal activity.

“He (Brenden) took on a new personality to camouflage the wounds from old taunts that never healed,” his mother told the Washington Post.  “He was hurting…to dull it, Brenden turned to marijuana.  Marijuana is a gateway to trouble.  They need to educate these teens.”

So…there you have it…in rapid fire succession Brenden’s mother is quick to focus the blame on his classmates and the school’s administration for failing her son.  They are the reason why he was a teenage drug user and thug.  Brenden is the victim here.

I agree Brenden is a victim and the loss of life at such an early age is tragic.

Yet, this is the path he chose.  Every one of us deals with pressure, stress, anxiety, adversity, conflict and tension – in our personal relationships, career, school and athletic pursuits.  It starts early.  In fact, I see its adverse impact on my elementary-aged sons.

The majority of people develop healthy and productive strategies to manage their environment.  We rely on those around us for guidance and support, but (ultimately) decide for ourselves how to live.

“When you smoke, you are getting involved with a group of dangerous people,” said Brittni Wilson, Brenden’s sister.  “You are putting yourself in a dangerous position every day.”

I have empathy for the loss his family now experiences.  No parent should ever have to bury a child.

The blame here rests with Brenden though.  Accountability demands it.

I take on a tough issue in this blog about the murder of 16-year-old Brenden Wilson.  Photo source: InsideNova.com

Recap of Hypnosis at Walter Johnson HS

Teens across the USA are feeling high levels of stress that they say negatively affect every aspect of their lives, a new national survey suggests.  More than a quarter (27%) say they experience "extreme stress" during the school year, vs. 13% in the summer. And 34% expect stress to increase in the coming year.

Stressors range from school to friends, work and family. And teens aren't always using healthy methods to cope.

2014 Stress in America survey from the American Psychological Association

When I introduced my Hypnotic Experience show three years ago the initial 12 months was invested performing at different venues for different audiences.  What I quickly learned is that high school students are an engaged group who are generally open to alternative approaches for health, wellness and exceptional living.

That’s because they are at a phase in their life defined by learning and discovery.  They are just beginning to figure out who they are and have obtained enough maturity to assess the world around them.
 
Plus, they exist in an environment of constant stress – from school, peers and parents.  Teens often have unrealistically high expectations of themselves and the success they need to achieve in all aspects of their life.

I have written frequently on this blog about how the pursuit of perfection is an exercise in futility.

This morning I had the pleasure of returning to Walter Johnson High School in Bethesda, MD to speak with a group of psychology students about the use of hypnosis as a tool for stress management, confidence and performing in the moment (i.e. academics, athletics, etc.).  The event was hosted by the school’s psychology faculty, who I’ve come to know well during the past year.

Here are a few observations from today’s event:

1. I incorporated some new material into my talk, including a funny anecdote about my experience with a homecoming date while I was in high school.  It played well and drew a positive reaction from the audience, yet resulted in the talk running a few minutes longer than I would have liked.  (Here is a photo of me at my 25 year high school reunion this weekend.)

2. In an educational environment, my philosophy is to take all volunteers as I want to encourage an interest in hypnosis and positive visualization.  That led to more than 60 kids joining me on stage for a hypnotic induction.

Great…I love the enthusiasm and it was a wonderful set of volunteers.  Bummer…I could only take the kids through a very basic induction with a few visualizations.  I also couldn’t incorporate convincers (i.e. heavy eyes) or an instant re-induction, which is always an audience pleaser.

3. I did have a group of 10 kids approach me individually afterwards with specific questions about hypnosis and its applications.  I passed along my business card and encouraged each to connect with me to discuss further and, if interested, learn more about the practice of self-hypnosis.

I’ve made it a priority to help anyone who expresses an interest in achieving positive change and empowerment.  It is how I got started on this journey.

PS  One of the most enjoyable parts of speaking at a high school is the time I get to speak with educators.  I’ve found that across the board they have a passion for what they do and deeply care about the success of their students.  As the father of three sons, that is incredibly encouraging.

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Updated on October 9:  Here is a kind Email I received from the educators at Walter Johnson in follow-up to my appearance at the school yesterday.

Hi Marc,

We just wanted to send you a big thank you for your wonderful show yesterday. Our students ( and all of us , of course)  really enjoyed the experience . You really helped our curriculum “come alive” . We are so happy to have you partner with and be part of the WJ family. We will be sure to spread the word about your talents to all relevant parties.  I look forward to seeing in in May for a “fun show” !

All the best-

Geri, Nicole, and Ty

College Basketball Star Sharpens Performance with Hypnosis

Basketball star Doug McDermott uses hypnosis for in-game performance.  (Photo credit: SI.com)

As you improve and advance in any endeavor – whether it is athletics, music, theatre, academics, etc. – the quality of competition ratchets up.  What then is the differentiation when everyone is talented, gifted and focused on success?

The answer lies in the ability a person has to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally.  To sharpen their mind on the positive; building a strong base of confidence and self-esteem.

Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks subscribe to this philosophy.  Here’s a link to a wonderful read in ESPN Magazine about how this NFL franchise invests in meditation and positive visualization to drive a higher level of performance.

College basketball star Doug McDermott of Creighton is also a believer.  This recently published profile by Sports Illustrated overviews McDermott’s use of hypnosis as a tool to improve game performance. 

Almost all of Doug McDermott's points -- including the career-high 45 he dropped against Providence last Saturday -- have been scored in a state of posthypnotic calm. At the CenturyLink Center he enters this state before warmups, when the 6' 8" senior forward retreats to an empty hockey locker room with Jack Stark. The Omaha-based psychologist worked with Nebraska's football dynasty in the 1990s, helps NASCAR drivers Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt Jr., and has become attached to the basketball program at Creighton, a Jesuit school, partly because he believes he's doing his Catholic duty but mostly because he loves being around Doug and his father, Greg, the coach of the Bluejays.

Stark has McDermott lie on a training table and talks him into a deep-relaxation phase. Stark counts backward from five to one. McDermott arrives at a beach. There, he removes the clutter from his mind -- the anxiety of game day, the pressure of carrying an offense for a top 10 team, the desire to not let anyone down-- and puts it in a box, on a raft, and pushes it into the blue water. The tide carries it away.

Hypnosis opens the mind to suggestion, so Stark begins refilling McDermott's with positive past experiences, reminders of times when the points came easy. 

3 Images of Hypnotic Experience

This past Sunday I performed my "Hypnotic Experience" show for one of the most active and profile social groups in the Washington, DC area.  The event organizer took a couple of photos that I wanted to share, along with a brief description of what is happening.

Far from magic or illusion, hypnosis is a process and a tool that can be used to better manage stress, grow self confidence and achieve a more positive view of life.

Suggestability demonstration helps audience focus and prepare for an induction.

Hypnosis induction based on guided meditation; visualization for focus and to reduce stress.

Sleep suggestion deepens the trance and opens the sub-conscious mind to positive imagery.

5 Step Approach to Boost Self-Confidence

A basketball player stands at the free throw line.  The game is close.  The gym is packed.  Her teammates encourage her.  Yet, she is swept up by the feelings of loneliness.

A student has prepared months for the SAT.  The next phase of his life depends on its outcome.  The pressure rises as he sits in a crowded classroom.  He too is alone.

Success in life is very much about performing in the moment.  It’s true in career, academics and athletics.   However, this need to excel at a specific time creates stress and anxiety which can adversely impact a person’s self-confidence.

 

It’s ironic that our own subconscious (i.e. that little voice inside each of us) can often torpedo in an instant months of preparation undertaken by our conscious mind. 

Can hypnosis help?

Absolutely!  In fact, after performing my Hypnotic Experience show I’m often asked by guests if they can use self-hypnosis as a tool to mitigate stress and achieve a more confident and positive view on life.

I have included below a relatively simple and straight-forward approach I encourage people to try as part of their mental preparation for an upcoming task or challenge.

1. Take three deep breaths and focus on pushing out stress and tension with each exhale.

2. Close your eyes and count back slowly from 10 allowing yourself to relax with each number.

3. Replay in your mind a moment in your life when you achieved something exceptional (in athletic competition, in the classroom, or in an interaction with a family member or friend).

4. Visualize this positive energy flow through your veins and swirl around your body.

5. Take a deep breath and open your eyes.

Hypnosis: Empowered for Success

I served as a strolling entertainer at the South Riding Fall Fest.

This weekend I had the pleasure of performing as a strolling entertainer at the South Riding Fall Fest in Northern Virginia.

It’s during these informal demonstrations of hypnosis and the power of positive visualization that I have the opportunity to chat with volunteers in a more personal, one-on-one setting.  Over the course of two hours at the event, I had 20 volunteers and held meaningful conversations with nearly a dozen.

Here are a few take-aways:

1. There is almost always a need to de-mystify hypnosis and clear up misconceptions.  Most people have been exposed to the concept of hypnosis through film, television and Las Vegas-style comedy shows.  I achieve a high level of volunteer interest by talking through what hypnosis is, applications for a healthier and happier life, and the ability to learn self-hypnosis.

2. The requirement in school, work and athletics to perform in the moment is an outcome with great appeal.  One woman was anxious about a major client presentation.  A young man was preparing to take the GRE exam.  Another guy was just back on the soccer field after an ankle injury and cautious in his play.  Simple visualizations to inspire self-confidence and reduce stress delivered a near-immediate benefit.

3. Ultimately, hypnosis is about empowerment.  Each of us has the inherent skills, drive and focus to achieve our life goals.  By setting an expectation for success our natural talent is allowed to shine.